April 4, 2017

We’re going to switch gears a bit this week.  We’ve been focusing on how to listen effectively in the way that we, as listeners, speak.  Our techniques today deal with how and when to NOT speak!
Our first approach is known as the “effective pause”.  This is wher...

March 28, 2017

By now, if you’ve been keeping up with our series on Active Listening, you should be getting very good at it.  And so, you’re ready for an advanced technique called “Probing”, you listening rockstar you!  Probing is an approach using hypothetical questions to elicit mo...

March 21, 2017

This week’s approach continues to build on the “reflecting” technique, but focuses entirely on precisely what the speaker is feeling. This is referred to as “Emotional Labeling”.   Using this approach, the listener puts perceived feelings into words in an effort to hel...

March 7, 2017

This week, we’re going to tackle a particularly effective technique: giving feedback.  This is an area that we all probably think we already understand.  Well, we say, I’m great at telling my spouse what to do and how to do it to fix any situation!  Uh-huh.  That’s why...

February 22, 2017

You may have noticed a brief (yeah, a month!) hiatus in our normally brisk-paced output for this blog.  Truth is, we've been a bit busy lately and needed to recover before resuming our usual breakneck speeds.

Seriously though, our first ever Our Beautiful Mess Marriage...

January 11, 2017

"A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways", James 1:18

The phrase double-minded here is translated from the Greek word dipsuchos meaning, literally, two-spirited!  Strong's Concordance further defines this condition as "vacillating in opinion or purpose".  In mor...

January 5, 2017

A valuable technique to add to your "toolbox" for actively listening to your spouse, is to begin to practice "Reflecting".  This approach, instead of just repeating what the speaker is telling you, let's you recreate their messages to you in terms of emotions or feelin...

December 17, 2016

We're taking a bit of a detour from our series on Active Listening to just say a word about Intentionality.  Big word with big implications for how we go about our daily lives.  All this $25 word means, is that whatever we set out to do, participate in or accomplish, w...

November 29, 2016

Another key part of active listening is providing feedback to the speaker to let them know you are actually tuned in, hearing and taking in what is being conveyed.  The point here is to provide positive reinforcement and encouragement without interrupting the speaker....

November 8, 2016

Often, when our spouse approaches us to “talk”, they really are asking us to listen.  The learned capacity for practicing “active listening” is often the key to addressing some very particular need or issue. Active listening is all about building rapport, understanding...

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